Ignoring Myself...

Yesterday, I was accompaying a friend who was buying some medicines at a local chemist shop. There was this small girl, not more than 10 yrs. old, standing there with a younger sibling of hers. She looked poor and in a bad state. She was giving a bag of clothes to the shopkeeper and wanted some money in return (I do not know what their deal was). The shopkeeper took the bag and asked her to come a couple of hours later for the money. She, however, stood there... did not want to move... perhaps she needed the money urgently... but what could the poor thing have done?

And me, I was standing, staring at the conversation shamelessly... fighting my own self whether I should intervene or not. It was just a question of Rs. 41/-. The shopkeeper was surely exploiting the situation... but "why should I intervene? What right do I have to intervene? Ignore it!"... the selfishness inside me was placating my heart with such questions... questions which I did not have an answer to... questions which ultimately won...

I do not know when will I be able to silence these questions... when will I be able to ignore my selfishness... when will I be able to intervene against the injustice which is happening all around me...
Do not know whether I lack the ability, the strength or the courage....

"After a few years of meditation practice we can even learn how to occasionally ignore ourselves. And what relief that can be!"
-- Wes Nisker

-Mohit